Claiming Your Identity
Claiming Your Identity

Module 3: Claiming Your Identity

As we weave our way through the various stages of our life we do so within the construct of a persona that has evolved through both the influences on, and experiences in, our life.

Some of those influences we have deliberately chosen - but most just happen upon us. Influences such as: - our parents, teachers, siblings, peer groups, role models, bosses, colleagues and the media.

Our life-experiences - whether welcome or not - have also influenced us, and we are shaped by how we deal with adversity in particular.

Rather than directing our own growth and development within the world around us, we grow up used to being moulded by the world around us. Consequently, at times, we feel out of control of our lives, on a treadmill, and living in a world in which we may feel we don’t belong, and doing things we don’t enjoy.

We feel we have lost our identity when, in reality we have failed to define it in the first place. As nature abhors a vacuum, Ego moves into empty space - ego is what moves in when Identity is absent. We then fall into the trap of resorting to tactics to support our ego such as busy-ness and drama. Such tactics are also used to avoid facing oneself and as both excuse and avoidance to explain any failure to live up to our ego.

Ego is dishonest, it leads to arrogance – a conscious distancing and disconnection from the (real) world around us – that we are better than “them”, and standing above others. It blinds us as to what is in front of us, we become frozen by ego as we strive to protect it.

Ego is blind, potentially leading to the smug, arrogant, complacency of a “know it all” - suppressing curiosity. It takes a strong person to open their eyes, to see what is about them, to know what they don’t know. It is when we stop thinking that we need to learn - when we think that we know it all - that our ego becomes our banana skin.

Ego is most often an external shell to cover a vulnerable interior - one that is fearful of discovery and of being hurt. Ego seeks validation over integrity. Consequently, Ego begets fear - fear of its loss. It is that fear that drives competition - the defence of ego - either individually or collectively.

The antidote to Ego is Identity. By defining our Identity on a solid foundation of Values, Principles, Beliefs and Standards we truly discover our real self, and with it our true purpose.